She: What's the problem?
Me: My bum bum hurts
She: I'm not a bum bum doctor. Only fever and soft throat
Me: My bum bum hurts
She: I'm not a bum bum doctor. Only fever and soft throat
Two nights ago I was searching for "Letter C Activities for Preschoolers" and cutting out clocks for an activity to round up our week dedicated to the Letter C, and the thought came into my mind as it occasionally does:
"Did I really give up my job for this? To cut circles at midnight? What the heck am I doing?"
Usually there is a little battle in my head about how giving up my job means less money in the bank every month, about how, with each passing day, I am slowly being forgotten by the corporate world, about how I now have to think of creative new ways to make money. But I think about how this wonderful little girl is progressing, and how inquisitive she is, and how we are able to hold real conversations, and I just know that it is the right choice, one that I would definitely make if I had to choose again (which is good because I really should get myself prepped to do 'it' all over again with Lil Miss).
But that night, there was no battle at all. I just smiled a secret smile to myself and said, "Yup, totally worth it." Earlier on that day, Poppy had surprised me by spelling her own name. Not P-O-P-P-Y, that's been going on for a while. Her real name. A whole big 9-letter long name. In the way that I taught her, in blocks of 3s.
When you're the parent of a little baby, you often wonder if you're nuts talking to yourself and if the baby is even absorbing anything from your monologue. But now, at 3.5 years, I am finally beginning to really see my efforts paying off. And it is nothing short of amazing.
And as if on cue, today Poppy let me ride that wave of happiness and pride a bit more. She started reading. In Chinese. She read a whole book to me before nap time today. Given that it was only a book with a single sentence on each page, but still.
Do you hear that? That's the sound of my heart, pounding so loudly in my rib cage, bursting with such immense pride that it hurts. So yup. Totally totally worth it.
Yes it is totally worth it dear. I am juggling almost like 2 jobs - day job and then homeschool at night and you are right. Hard as it is, the close relation I have with my Dumpling and watching her grow with the assurance of love and being part of that discovery process makes it worthwhile. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the confidence booster. It's not easy but so fulfilling to know that we're part of the little ones' lives and playing a significant role in shaping them! I love being a mummy :)
ReplyDeletePS - oh my, you have a day job too??? Gosh! You really are super mum!